– Hello, lovely people. So you were probably
expecting a live stream, because I said we were
gonna have a live stream. But then YouTube said, “Hey, do you last minute want to “go to the Edinburgh Television Festival?” And I was like, “Where’s my YouTube original series?” So I’m currently in Edinburgh. And, thus, we bring to you
the magic of “Baking Bad”. Name change by popular demand.
(Claudia laughs) – Why is it called, “Baking Bad”? Were we really that bad?
– We weren’t great. Let’s be honest.
– I think we were really tired and weren’t we, Was it we were trying to pack or? I can’t remember.
– Yeah. It was Christmas. It’s a show in which I, Jessica, someone who absolutely loves to bake, but can eat absolutely
nothing in a bakery, tries to teach my dear wife, Claudia, who likes to eat, how to bake. – Yeah, I don’t really enjoy baking. – No.
– No. – Well, hopefully you’ll
enjoy making this. We’re gonna make some sugar-free, gluten-free banana muffins. – Oh, I like banana muffins. – They’re dairy-free as well.
– Oh. – Look at that. – So, literally, everyone can eat it. – Unless you got a problem
with eggs, bananas. – Well, then vegans. – I think vegans have an
egg substitute, don’t they? – I don’t know.
– I don’t know. They’re also a low-FODMAP, which is my own, particular,
diet requirement. – Well, let’s get started.
(excited yell) – First of all, we’re gonna do an unboxing of a very, very exciting, new edition to the house. – Oh, that’s how you do it. I was like. (table drum roll) (ding) – In my last baking live stream, I was just mixing everything with a fork, because we’ve moved house.
– You coulda got a whisk. – I know, if life was a fork. It’s not a good idea when
you got hand palsies. But then, fortunately,
lovely people donated enough that I could buy my own stand mixer, which I’ve always wanted my whole life. – I don’t like baking, but I like all the other bits that come with it. – You don’t like baking, you like gadgets. There are additions, that’s
what she’s looking at. She wants the additions. – You can even get a meat blender. – How have you made my
fun baking thing savory? – Yeah. – We gotta open it. – A multipurpose tool, apparently. Oh no, it bent my fork.
(Jessica laughs) (upbeat jazz music) (people cheering) – So, our very first ingredient is going to be gluten-free flour. – Okay.
– Wife, please measure 220 grams of gluten-free flour. (mixer noises)
Waaah. All my dreams are coming true. – Electricity. – We then need one
tablespoon of flaxseed meal. (Jessica grunts)
(Claudia snickers) Are you laughing at me? – You can do your own baking show of you. It would just be accompanied with noises of struggle every few minutes. – One teaspoon bicarbonate of soda. – Ta-da.
– Cool. And a half teaspoon of salt. – No, I don’t trust you.
(Jessica laughs) Also, you know, if you spill salt, you’re gonna have bad luck unless you throw it over your
left shoulder or something. – Half a teaspoon.
– Oh well, we like salty. – Would you please tip that into this lovely–
– Oh my gosh, really? – It’s okay, look. – No, let’s put it up. That’s why it has a tipping mesh. And you can take this out. We could’ve just measured
everything in it. That woulda been easier. – My voice, I’m sure, sounds terrible. Someone asked me the other day, “If she’s deaf, how does she know “that she’s lost her voice?” Sorry, do you assume that sore throats feel different to hearing
people and deaf people? Does it?
– Yeah, well we all know disabled people are a
different breed of person. (Jessica laughs) – We should have to go and
live on our own little islands. – More like a planet.
– Oh. (Jessica laughs) – I don’t want you to
go to another planet. – No, I don’t want to. Now, we move on to wet ingredients. You’re gonna use 120 milliliters of oil. 120 milliliters. – I don’t know if this is enough. (Jessica laughs) – Should we pour it in
and then make it up in dairy-free enriched with
soya sunflower spread? – It’s about 80 millimeters. Milliliters.
– Yes, indeed. – Looks like 150 now.
– Cool. – And that bit hasn’t even blobbed in yet. – Let me get this bit then. – Look at this, oh my god. (Jessica laughs) I mean, is it–
– Claudia! (Claudia singing) It’s a very shiny table now. (utensils banging)
– Whoops. (liquids sploshing) – Ooh. – Nice, that was a nice sound effect. – That’s really appetizing now, isn’t it? – Yeah.
– Yeah. – Are you gonna bake
with our kids like this? They’ll be like, “I don’t want it, Mommy”. (laughs)
– Shh. Now, 100 grams of sugar. I use this lovely artificial sugar. It is sucralose. You don’t have to buy Splenda, by the way. Splenda is sucralose, it is better for you than aspartame, but it’s actually more expensive, because you can get supermarket
own brand sucralose. – You know what else
you don’t have to buy? Diet Coke, ’cause you can buy diet cola. It’s non-branded. – Oh, Claudia. – Well, some people might argue that this is not the same as Splenda. – 100 grams please. – Oh yeah, I always
think this is very cool because it goes on forever
’cause it’s so light. (cheerful music) That’s still going. – Oh wait.
(record scratching) (Jessica laughs) Sorry, I just realized
it’s 100 grams of sugar, and that’s artificial sugar, so you’ll never get to 100 grams. You need 10 grams.
– (beep) Sorry. Jessie, I just poured it all out. You just watched me do that for a good at least seven seconds. – I forgot. – What do we do now? Do you have a funnel? – We do have a funnel. Have you seen the funnel? – Who you talking to? (laughs) – Well, that’s 20.
– It was slightly… – Let’s put it all in.
– Yeah, that’ll do. I’m just too ill at the moment to count. (grunts) – More of this.
(laughing) – Oh, watching Jessica struggle. – You know that Nigel and Orson are like, “Mm so delicious.” Yours is like weird pain noises. I’m sure there’s an area– – I’m sure there’s an area of
the internet that loves those. I don’t know what to call them. (laughs) So, what I’m gonna do is, because there’s all that
sugar in the thingy, I’m gonna use this mixing jug, which is a marker for sugar
for 100 grams of sugar, and then put it up with
this artificial sugar, so it reaches the same point. – Once this thing’s mixed,
is that our baking done? – Well, you have to put
it in the oven, my love. Have you already lost interest in baking? – Yeah. – Well, you can have more
interest in the eating later. – You know why? It’s because there’s no
good smells produced. And when you’re doing savory stuff, you have the smell of garlic
once they’re chopping it up, or the smell of herbs
when you’re doing that, spices sizzling in the pan. – You know what your problem is though? You get too hungry. So really, that reason that you like cooking is because you’re constantly smelling food and then the food is just in your belly. Whereas baking, you have to
do the work and then you wait when it’s in the oven.
– Fair enough. I apologize if I look
like something really like waaah ’cause the sun’s
just come through, hasn’t it? – Right.
(mixer noise) – Wow. That’s just gonna clump. What’s that really look like? – And now we’re going
to add two large eggs. – Where’d that moisture come from? – The oil. – Oh yeah.
(laughing) – It’s called mixing.
(laughing) – [Claudia] Oh my god. That was skillful. – [Jessica] Whoops. (mixer noise) We’re gonna add our last few ingredients and then scrape down the sides. – Yeah. I can do that. I think you have to like– – All right, you scrape
it down, scrape it down. – You just have to make sure
it’s all gettin’ in there. (mixer noise) – Are you enjoying baking now? – Yeah, I guess. – The mixer’s making it better. – This is the first
time we’ve ever used it. I’m sure by the second time we use it, I’ll probably be over it. Whoa, lady.
– Sorry. – Now there’s nearly Splenda everywhere. That would not be fun to clean up. It’s not Splenda. (Jessica laughs) – Okay, three bananas. They’re very ripe. We’re gonna change the head on this. This one has a scoopy bit as well. – Yeah, this one scrapes–
– The side, how good’s that? – Our dog’s are really
into fruit recently. Well, it’s just staring at me. I don’t think you like banana, Walter. And they love satsumas, blackberries.
– Berries. Melon, they actually eat melon. – Yeah, watermelon, it’s nice. Keeps them cool in the summer. Bananas are really weird, aren’t they? – Yeah.
– There’s no fruit like them. – So pulpy. – [Claudia] Now, here you go. – Yay, thanks baby. – [Claudia] Oh, nice. – Banana is so appetizing
and, yet, so gross. – A lot of people hate
bananas, don’t they? Having a real aversion to them. – You can kinda get why. – Let’s see what this mixes like. – Okay. Ready? (mixer noise) – Well, that’s better.
– Whoa. – Feel like that’s gonna
punch it out the way. – All right. Now, all we have to do is
add some vanilla extract. I found my vanilla extract. – I didn’t know we lost it. – I lost it during the live stream. – Ah. – One teaspoon. (spoon tapping on mixer) – Okay. (mixer noise) Whoops, sorry. Did that get anywhere?
– Lady. Now we’re gonna add it to the dry. So pull out, please. – That’s what she said. – Tried to avoid that one but okay. – You want me to twist it? Yeah, that’s in.
– Oh, okay. That’s what she said.
(laughing) I can’t do, can I?
– No. You’re not naughty enough.
– No. Okay, and then we add the wet to the dry. Little by little, and then whisk. (bubbling noises) Whisk. (mixer noise)
Oh, it’s becoming stickier. – Looks like a bread dough right now. – [Jessica] It doesn’t look
super appetizing right now, but it will in a minute. (mixer noise) (Claudia giggles) Fascinating. – You want the scrapy thing? (splashing noises) – Okay, I think I’m gonna take it faster. (mixer noise speeds up) (laughs) Oh, it looks really good. – Now what?
– Okay. Now, we’re gonna add some– – Why is baking so boring? I just wanna go cook my mince. my sack of mince. Can I leave you to it? – We’re almost done. – You know what we need? – Forky. – Steady. Forky’s got anger problems. – Forky you. All right, now I’m gonna crumple these up. Probably should’ve got some knives so that we could chop them, but crumbling it is. The painstaking work. – It’s part of the show to watch you suffer.
(Jessica laughing) – I’m not strong enough to
break fricking walnuts properly. – I don’t really like walnuts. (busy dial tone) – All right, well let’s stop then. No more walnuts. You’re supposed to put 75 grams in, but no more walnuts.
– That’s enough. (mixer noise) – Lovely. All right, now we’re
ready to put it into our muffin cases and then
to our preheated oven. – Good. – Claudia got bored of baking, so now, I’m gonna do it in
fast-forward all by myself using these adorable little
cases from the V & A. Enjoy. (cheerful relaxing music) Ta-da, finished product.
(cheering) – Yeah, they smell good. – We have actually eaten
half of them already though. – I haven’t actually eaten any. – Have you not?
– No. – Jesus, I’ve eaten half of them. Okay, have one, my love.
– Thanks. – If you would like the recipe for these lovely low-FODMAP banana muffins, then it will be in the
description down below. Make some of your own. Please let us know what you think. And please do think of suggestions for what we should attempt to bake next. Preferably, gluten-free. – Or cook next ’cause I don’t like baking. – We’re going to bake. It’s called, “Baking Bad”.
– Okay. – It could be savory baking. We could savory bake for you. – Okay. – Aw.
– Maybe a savory muffin. – Yeah, sure, we’ll make a savory muffin. Or pastry, you’ll love that.
– Okay. This is quite dry.
(laughs) – Bye bye. (cheerful music)