D.I.Y. Apocalypse Survival

Hey everyone. I think we’ve all seen the news. It’s 2017 and it looks like
the world’s about ready to end. If you have an interest in not dying,
you’ve come to the right place. Today I’m gonna teach you three
DIY skills that Uncle Scam doesn’t want you to know about. [MUSIC] [NOISE] [MUSIC] These are the supplies you’ll need. Your dirty water,
an empty gallon jug, any t shirt. First step is to cover the opening
of your clean empty gallon jug. Poke a bit of your shirt into the opening. Next, pour the whole jug of dirty
water through your cloth filter. Look at all this dirt
that you’ve filtered out. Next you’ll need your container of bleach,
a roll of toilet paper, stopwatch. First, check the ingredients. The bleach should contain
8.25% sodium hypochlorite. Hey dummy, don’t drink the bleach. First, remove the lid from the bleach. And then pour a little bit
of the bleach into it. Tear off one square of toilet paper. You’re gonna wanna rip off a tiny
piece and then roll it up. It’s not enough to wipe your butt,
but it’s perfect for making an impromptu eye dropper. Very carefully put eight drops
of bleach into the gallon jug, two drops of bleach per liter. Now, put the lid on and shake it. You wanna make sure that
the bleach mixes with the water. Now, let the water rest for 30 minutes. Now, take the lid off and smell the water. It should smell a little
bit like chlorine. That means it’s disinfected. Now, hydrate yourself with
the disinfected water and laugh at all the haters who are now dead. And now for the controversial stuff. Pee into the empty jug. Now, chug your piss jug. So, if the world is ending, and
all your water sources are [BLEEP], now you know how to survive. When the military decides
to turn against us, these are the steps you can take to
make your very own DIY gas mask. This is what you’ll need,
a two liter bottle, a soda can, a permanent marker,
a box cutter. First, cut the bottom off
of the two liter bottle. Use a permanent marker to draw an outline
for cutting out your face hole. Next, cut it out. Now try your mask on. You’ll need duct tape, two rubber bands, [MUSIC] Now, cut out strips of duct tape and
put them around the edges of the mask. If you can still breathe while
the cap is on the bottle, then you have a faulty seal. Now, take two rubber bands and
cut them in half. Tie the ends together. This will serve as the strap for
your mask. Cut a slit on either side of the mask,
slide the rubber bands in, and then tie the ends off. Seal the slits with more tape to
make sure that you’re airtight. Now, try the mask on again to make
sure that your head strap fits. You’ll need something to poke a hole with,
cotton pads, activated carbon. Now, take the can and
stab a bunch of breathing holes in it. [SOUND] Now, take your box cutter and
cut off the top of the can. [MUSIC] Find the seam in your cotton pads and
peel them apart. A full cotton pad can be hard to breathe
through, so we’re gonna split them apart. Put half of the cotton pad over
the holes in the bottom of the can. Now, grab the activated carbon, and pour enough into the can to
cover the entire cotton pad. Now, take the other half of your
cotton pad, and cover that. Now you’re gonna take a full cotton pad,
and put it over the edge of the can. [MUSIC] Then duct tape it on and
cut an X in the pad. [MUSIC] Unscrew the lid of the bottle and put the mouthpiece through the X
you’ve cut in the cotton pad. Now, apply a thick layer of duct tape
to connect the can and the bottle. Now, you’re good to go. Try your mask on. Tear gas yourself to
make sure that it works. [MUSIC] Congratulations, now you know
how to build your own gas mask. [MUSIC] Need to start a fire? [SOUND] Here’s a way you can do it
with a gum wrapper, a battery and some other basic supplies. [MUSIC] First, chew the gum to make sure that
you have good breath for the apocalypse. Take your gum wrapper and
cut it into three pieces length wise. Now fold one of the pieces in half and
cut a V-shape at the end, leaving it very thin in the middle. [MUSIC] Now, fold down the ends of this piece and
bend them out to be 90-degree angles. These are gonna connect to your battery. Now cut off a piece of your tee shirt. You’re gonna need this for two reasons. One, the gum wrapper burns out quickly, so
use the tee shirt to keep the flame alive. And two, when you connect the ends
of the gum wrapper to the battery, it gets too hot to hold. Now use the tee shirt like an oven mitt
to connect each end of the gum wrapper to the battery. Now, hold it until it catches fire. Next step, grab your social security
card and burn that [BLEEP]. Make sure nobody has any
evidence that you ever existed. What else do you need the flame for? Now you remember. You need to smoke an entire blunt
to forget about the anxiety and depression caused by the end of the world. [SOUND] That’s it. These are three skills you can
use during the end of the world. You can hydrate yourself, start a fire,
and survive a gas attack. It’s a rigged system, stay woke. [MUSIC] Wasn’t that nice? Subscribe to Super Deluxe for more.

10 thoughts on “D.I.Y. Apocalypse Survival

  1. Drinking pee is like drinking salt water, I'm sorry are you salty about this comment? You are, you are. Well at least your pee is.

  2. Don’t those diy gas masks only work against teargas? You could just buy any gas mask that uses 40 mm canisters (the NATO kind not the Russian one)

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