Mad Lib Theater with Tom Cruise (Mission: Impossible Edition)

-Here’s how it works. -I’m gonna ask you
for some silly words — nouns, verbs, adjectives,
et cetera — and as we do that, they’ll be
written on the cue cards, and then, we’re gonna act out
a very dramatic Mad Lib scene. -Okay.
-Very dramatic. I mean, have you seen my work?
-I have, I have. -Really, very, yeah.
-It’s excellent. -Thank you.
-You won a Grammy. -Yeah, I did win a Grammy
for my acting. For my acting.
Thank you. [ Laughs ]
All right, here we go. Ready? -Yes.
-Name of a cute puppy. -Uh, uh, My Little Cookie. [ Laughter ] -That actually is cute.
-Yeah. -My Little Cookie.
-Okay. -A silly word.
-Uh… What?
[ Laughter ] Pollywog.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ] Adjective.
-Amazing. -A plural type of profession.
-Plural type of profession? -Plural, it’s even hard to say.
-Okay. Plural type of profession.
How about sanitation engineers? [ Laughter ] -What? Okay.
-I don’t know. -The cue-card guy’s going,
“Are you kidding me?” Type of ’80s technology? -Walkman.
-Oh, yeah. -Isn’t that ’80s, right?
-Yeah. Loved my Walkman.
-Yeah, loved that. -Something you buy on eBay.
-Sneakers. [ Laughter ]
Or vintage clothes. Which do you look better? -Vintage sneakers.
-Vintage sneakers. [ Laughter ] -What you would shout if you saw
a spider crawling up your leg. -Uh… -Ew!
It’s crawling up your leg! -Come here, darling! [ Laughter ] What?
-Come here what? -Come here, darling.
[ Laughter and applause ] -“Come here, darling.”
Oh, my gosh. [ Laughter ] Type of relative.
-Aunt. -Aunt. Woman’s name.
-Um, Ingrid. -Ingrid.
[ Laughter ] Number. -1,000,256. [ Laughter ] -Plural objects. -Uh… Sofas. -Curse word
a first-grader would use? -Doodie-head. [ Laughter ] -It’s classic.
Classic. -Classic. -Fictional character. -Um… Uh, Huckleberry Finn.
-Huckleberry Finn. -Something you’d find
in the kitchen. -Knife. -These are all good. Give me another number. -Seven.
[ Laughter ] -Celebrity name. -How about… Ingrid Bergman. -All right.
[ Laughter ] -Ingrid — I don’t know.
-Yeah, Ingrid Bergman. A verb ending in -ing. -Running. -Another adjective. -Uh… Humongous. -These are good words.
Plural animals. -Lemmings.
[ Laughter ] -That’s fantastic, dude. Lemmings.
What? A verb ending in -ing.
Another one. -A verb ending in -ing.
-You said running already. -Yeah, I said running. Give me another verb like what?
-Kissing. -Yeah, kissing, kissing,
there you go. Thank you.
Thank you. -Favorite song lyric. -Favorite song —
I don’t know. Uh… [ Laughter ] -Poopy-di-scoop.
-Poopy-di-scoop? -Poopy-di-scoop.
-Is that a lyric? -Yeah, it’s a lyric.
Yeah, it is. -Poopy-di-scoop.
All right. Yeah.
Thank you. [ Laughter and applause ] -It’s good.
-Good. -Okay. All right. We’ve filled out the words
for our scene. Are you ready to perform?
-Let’s do it, man. -Let’s do this.
Here we go. -Let’s do this.
Let’s go. [ Cheers and applause ] [ Both laugh ] [ Dramatic music plays ] -Good evening…
My Little Cookie. [ Laughter ] [ Laughter and applause ] Special Director Pollywog.
It’s good to see you again. -I’m here
with your next mission. A criminal organization
of the world’s most amazing
sanitation engineers hacked into
the government’s Walkman, stealing their top-secret report
on vintage sneakers. [ Laughter ] [ Laughter and applause ] -Come here, darling. [ Laughter ] -I understand your reaction. The group also kidnapped
your Aunt Ingrid and is holding her for a ransom
of 1,000,256 sofas. [ Laughter ] -Where the doodie-head are
we gonna get 1,000,256 sofas? -I don’t know,
but we have to move fast. -I have a plan. I’ll meet up with the group
disguising as myself — disguising myself
as Huckleberry Finn. Jesus… [ Laughter ] -So far —
So far, I’m on board. -If they attack,
I’ll fight back with a knife. [ Laughter ] -Great. This disk contains sensitive
information that might help. -What’s on this disk? -Seven photos
of Ingrid Bergman running. [ Laughter ] -Come here, darling. [ Laughter ] I’ve already contacted my team
of highly humongous lemmings. [ Laughter ] -You’re the best agent we have. How do you prepare
for such tense missions? -By waking up every morning,
going up on the roof, and kissing and by repeating
my own personal mantra — poopy-di-scoop, poopy-di-scoop. [ Laughter, cheers, applause ] -And scene!
-And scene. -And scene! My thanks
to Tom Cruise right there! We’ll be right back
with Parker Posey! Tom Cruise!
[ Laughing ]

100 thoughts on “Mad Lib Theater with Tom Cruise (Mission: Impossible Edition)

  1. i think with spider jimmy meant the real animal spider and definitely not spider man.because if jimmy wanted to mean spider man directly he would mentioned spider man, because he had not mentioned directly spider man, so it can not interpreted as spider man or anything like that including spider man’s T-Shirt or its logo.(anyway JOKER is out of business).


  3. What you would say if you saw a spider crawling up your leg
    Tom Cruise: Come here, darling
    The man has reached a whole new level of Weird… And that's saying something 😛

  4. Me: tries not to laugh too much coz It's 3:00 am

    Tom: "I'll meet up at the group, disguising as my self-"

    Also me: Dies of laughter

  5. Why is nobody talking about the fact that Jimmy never actually writes anything on the cue card?

  6. Yeah no prob, EVERYONE just ignore the fact that this is a fucking psycho God SPACE EMPORER of a fake religion guilty of worse crimes than many 3rd world dictatorships. No prob, it's Tom Cruise… He gets a pass right? I mean he dropped from a ceiling into a bright white octogon room and caught a drop of sweat before it hit the ground. We loved that.

  7. Never in a thousand years would I have thought that Tom Cruise would recite a Kanye lyric but not just any ordinary one, poopity scoop

  8. What would’ve made this 20 times better would be if Tom said as his kitchen tool; ‘pickle grater’

    Tom: I’ll fight them with my PICKLE GRATER

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